Of course I hope Donald Trump is a good president. Actually I hope he is the best president. I hate being captain obvious, but here I am. I have seen countless memes on Facebook saying things like, “I hope Donald Trump is a good president.Wanting him to fail is like wanting the pilot to crash the plane we are all on.”
Here’s the other side of that cute meme. Here’s what happened during the boarding of the plane. I took my seat in economy class. Wouldn’t you know it was my luck that I got the dreaded middle seat. It made me even more envious of those eight people sitting up in first class sipping champagne, and those 40 beautiful people sitting in business class with plenty of leg room. I wasn’t even lucky enough to get one of the 110 economy plus seats this go round, but so goes life. I am one of the 108 in economy seating. It doesn’t matter. At the end of this flight, we will all end up at the same destination. A destination all of us are excited about.
I began talking to the kind 22-year-old sitting to my left. She said she had just finished her bachelor’s in biology, and she had just been accepted into medical school. Her parents had brought her into this country as a baby, and she was living proof the American dream was still alive and well. The 38-year-old lady sitting to the right of me was super excited to be going on the annual Islamic pilgrimage to Mecca (the Hajj) this year with her parents. I was excited to tell them about my beautiful family of 10, and our journey to adopt five children from China. I told them stories about our two sons with Down syndrome, and how society was changing and making great strides in accepting them for the valuable people they are. We were all feeling so optimistic as this plane filled in.
Then the stewardess explained that we would have the privilege of hearing directly from the pilot of this plane. The plane’s occupants clapped politely. As the stewardess introduced the pilot she explained that he was a very successful billionaire. People’s interests were peaked. She then explained that this type of experience was just what this plane needed….something fresh and new to take this plane to new heights and get us to our destination quicker and under budget. Well, who isn’t in for faster and under budget? Then she said that this will be the first time he’s ever flown a plane, but not to worry because he has been a passenger on countless planes. In fact, he even owns planes. Ok…we are starting to feel a little uncomfortable, but there must be more to this story. The pilot then makes his entrance onto the plane to cheers and clapping. He then takes the microphone and begins to speak. Although his English isn’t the best, he starts out ok. He talks about how he’s going to take this huge plane to new heights. We are going to go so fast we will beat all records ever set! We will do it under budget! Everyone on this plane will get champagne, and we are going to bring back porcelain plates to the economy class. We all clapped. I mean who doesn’t love porcelain and champagne. My great grandmother used to tell me how flying on planes use to be quite the affair you would dress up for. You’d even wear hats, dresses, and white gloves. I was starting to feel nostalgic! Then he started talking about making the Muslims on the flight raise their hands to register. The lady sitting to my right started shifting uncomfortably in her seat. I patted her hand to let her know that I wouldn’t make her raise her hand. Then he started speaking about Mexicans. He said, “When Mexico sends its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re not sending you. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.” I look at the young lady to my left and say, “You are a good person.” She seems to take no comfort in my words, and gets a confused look on her face. Someone at the front of the plane who has a physical disability appears to speak up to try to correct the pilot. The pilot then mocks the person with disabilities and belittles him in a bullying fashion. Then the two ladies look at me with disgust in their eyes. The one on my right offers me a kleenex to wipe the tears from my eyes.
The pilot then hands the microphone back to the stewardess as he heads to take his place in the cockpit. Since he has no experience being in the actual cockpit of the plane, he accidentally broadcasts to the plane a conversation he was having with his male co-pilot about grabbing women by the pussy. The cabin gasps in horror, but some in the cabin start explaining that they were just having locker room talk. Since there now seems to be real concerns on whether this pilot should be allowed to fly this plane being responsible for all of these lives, there is a vote. It will not be a popular vote however. Each class will be given a certain amount of electoral votes. If the pilot gets enough electoral votes, he will be allowed to fly the plane. The popular vote will hopefully align with electoral votes. If not, it doesn’t really matter. By this time, half the plane has fallen asleep, and half of the people don’t even vote. No matter how hard their neighbors try to wake them they will not be bothered to raise their hand in a vote. After all is said and done, the pilot does have enough electoral votes to take the pilots seat even though he doesn’t have the popular vote.
Those of us who did not vote for him are still stuck on this plane with no viable escape plan. We are looking at those who voted for him with terror in our eyes. We are begging them to see the problems in this plan. They look back at us and say give him a chance! What could possibly happen? We are looking back saying, “I can think of a few things without even thinking very hard.” The planes next to us on the runway are looking over at us with total confusion. They are texting people on our plane saying, “Did you really just do this? Why are you doing this? You can stop this plane from taking off right?”
Well, I am on this plane. I can’t stop this plane from taking off. Yes, I see the issues here. Pardon me as I page the stewardess to bring me a double…a triple. I raise my glass to the pilot! May he get us to our destination safely and not in bankruptcy like his former airline.