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All posts for the month November, 2013

Changes, Choices, and Challenges

Published November 16, 2013 by megchristo

I am sorry to say that we will not be hosting that precious 5 year old boy over Christmas. China did not release their requirements in time to get them here for the holidays. Instead they will be coming over mid January to mid February. As a working mom that travels for her job, this means that hosting him will no longer be an option. As a result of this change, MJ and I asked Project 143 and CCAI (our adoption agency) to get his file released from the hosting program, so we could begin the process of adopting him. I am thrilled to announce that they did get his file released to CCAI, and we received pre approval to adopt him from China on Thursday!!!!

A little history with this little boy we will call Bo. We actually saw his file first…before our daughters’ files…back in July of 2012. I fell in love with him immediately. MJ was worried that we couldn’t handle the needs of another child with Down syndrome and a little girl that we did not know yet. We were sure she would have cleft lip/palate, and we thought she would need surgery immediately upon getting home. So we passed on his file, but we never forgot about him. I cried myself to sleep many of nights knowing that we were his only chance at having a family. With the little word “no” we were sentencing him to a cold, hopeless, famliless, lonely, shortened life. It was more than my heart could bear. At nights it literally felt like my heart was breaking for this boy and our decision. Then we found our daughters. I knew they were our daughters, and I tried to piece my heart together. I tried to convince myself that he must not have been meant to be our son because these were our girls.

Then pictures of Elle started coming to us. Guess who we saw in the pictures….Bo. Bo and Elle were together! They knew each other! They are friends! How am I suppose to move on when I keep finding him? Fast forward to January. We travel to China to pick up our girls. Guess who we see when we go to Elle’s orphanage. Bo! He sat up in his crib, smiled, and waved at us. I pointed to him, cried, and said, “MJ, there’s Bo!” Here’s a picture of him from that moment!

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I couldn’t dwell on our encounter for long because MJ and I had our hands FULL in those following months. However I never forgot Bo. I would think of him daily. About once a week I would text MJ something about Bo. He would text back something about our hands being full, which of course is true. Fast forward to September…I received information about Project 143 and CCAI and their host an orphan for the holidays. I half heartily opened the photo listing for China. I never in a million years anticipated what happened. After about 12 pictures, up popped Bo’s beautiful face. I immediately burst into tears balling. It was so loud I woke up my husband. He rolled over, and started hugging me. He asked what happened. All I could do was point to the screen, and say Bo! I told MJ I couldn’t keep ignoring him. MJ teared up, and said, “I know.” The next couple of weeks were filled with tears, intense discussions, and major soul searching on how we could do this.

I am thrilled to announce that we submitted out “Letter of Intent” to adopt Bo on my birthday, and we received our pre approval Thursday. We are on our long awaited journey to Bo. Hold on sweet boy! We are coming!!!

Last week we received his file again. It hadn’t been updated since the last time we had seen it. However this time when I watched his video I saw something new. I saw my daughter wondering in the background. Elle and Bo together. They will be together again! Take a look!

Now…for the challenges. Adoption is a long, emotional, financially stressful journey that is so worth it! What makes it harder is people’s reactions to our decision. I don’t expect people to understand or even agree with our decisions. After all we didn’t ask for anyone else’s approval. I do expect them to give us emotional support, and when that doesn’t happen it hurts. The beautiful side is that new people emerge to fill those gaps in your life. At the end of the day, I have to be happy and satisfied with the decisions I have made for my life and my family. I am.